Thursday, May 24, 2012

THE HOUSEGUEST

You may feel overcome with joy or you may suddenly feel like you’ve been sentenced to life without chance of parole when you get the call.  “Heyyyyy!  I’m coming to town in a few weeks. Soooo excited!  Would it be cool if I stayed at your place?!”  Ugh.  So many pros and cons to this question.  My sentiment is almost always the latter but, at the end of the day, how do you say no?  Especially to friends or family.  If I seem like a cold-hearted biatch it’s because I am.

Having someone stay at your place for an extended period of time comes with so much baggage (pun absolutely intended; I hate their crap lying all over the place).  There’s the fun stuff, sure: catching up on lost time and actually getting to spend some time together.  But there’s mostly the not so fun stuff: figuring out shower schedules, the need to entertain when you just don’t want to, and them sleeping until 11am so you have to whisper and tiptoe around your place like a fool so as not to “disturb” the sleeping beauty.  You don’t want to be rude, after all.  And then there’s more bad stuff; the extra prep work that happens the week leading up to the visit.  Making sure the guest room is ready, the towels are clean, and that the grocery shopping for “fun” snacks is done (I don’t eat interesting food and I only drink water but I don’t want my guests to think, nope know for a fact, that I’m bizarre).  Making sure the house is comfortable overall for a friend you don’t see often and aren’t quite certain of what they like or need is tough and it’s a lot for a guest to ask, quite frankly.  And, OK, they’re not “asking”.  But yes they are.

So why the rant?  Because I have 3 coming this weekend and I’m stressing – just a little.  I haven’t had a houseguest since the incident of the foul smelling shoes that almost sent me to the hospital.  And now I have 3?  Two are making an overnight pit stop, but the third is staying for the whole holiday weekend.  Here’s what’s brilliant though…I won’t be around!  Of course I’m still prepping so the third will be comfy but it’s nice knowing I won’t have to deal with the nonsense.  BUT because I won’t be here I’m going a little above and beyond – maybe I do have a heart after all.  These are nice touches you can do whether you’re stuck with your guest or not.  I mailed him a set of keys so he doesn’t have to sleep on the porch, I’m leaving a subway map and a MetroCard for him, and of course I’ve made a list of the best restaurants and bars to check out while he’s here.  My apartment is pretty organized (weird) so he should be able to find everything else he might need during his stay.  Oh, and I told my landlord that he’ll be here so she doesn’t have him arrested.  Thought that was a crucial step.   

With this houseguest, I’m honestly a little torn.  We grew up together and don’t see each other often – haven’t seen each other in almost a year, actually.  So a part of me really wishes I could be home, part of me is glad I’ll be relaxing on the beach instead, part of me hopes he doesn’t go through all of my stuff.

(xoxo GK, you know I love you!)


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